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Everything you are about to read is the truth …

An early wake up this first day of 2016 left me a bit adrift.  Too sleepy to start a new book, I rolled around on the floor playing with the dogs before spying a massive, full-colour advertising flyer on the desk supporting a modest stack of real mail. It wasn’t yet daylight when I started flipping through the pages and here’s what I learned written in total freefall mode, no editing:

A handsome cowboy in a black leather Stetson
sells beautiful glass doors on 5th street
somewhere in Southwest Florida.

Two sprites ride on the back of a bronzed alligator
posing in front of silk topiaries.

A cross-eyed cartoon caricature of a carpenter’s saw
throws a red-tongued raspberry and ambulates
in over-sized running shoes.

Docks and pilings can be restored by a blond
German Shepherd clad in scuba gear, goggles,
a custom four-legged wetsuit and flippers.
References available upon request.  

A crawling Gerberish toddler can eat his lunch
off floors so clean.

Home theatre specialists conjure magical
technology consultants crowned in black top hats.

A red-headed woodpecker clings to an
endless variety and shapes of architectural
foam guaranteed against woodpecker damage.

A pick axe insert smashes, but doesn’t shatter,
the glass pane of hurricane protection –
two motors free or $400 off!

Sparky, a bright yellow light bulb wearing
a red baseball cap, holds a yellow lightning bolt in one
white-gloved hand and a yellow, ten-to-two frozen
alarm clock in the other – NOW HIRING.

A skeletal fish named Dry as a Bone boasts
breakthrough technology in paver sealing; and
the Grill Guys wear helmets to clean your grill.

Dogs and cats are the only reasons to
Forget the Rest and Call the Best to
clean your carpets.

Little blue, silicone men dangle on
little blue swings and ladders to
clean your gutters.

A full-page woman’s bikini clad crotch sells
pool packages while a red Starfish nibbles at her navel.

And … if you Go Green, the guys who care
promise to turn our little blue planet
into a blotchy and pitted lime.


2016HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL and may you really, really surprise yourself in 2016!

themparkEvery so often I pull down a book of poetry from the shelf.

Then, like stabbing a finger to a map to choose a chance destination I flip the book open to a random page. Without judgment or censorship, I share what I find there with you.

Today I pulled ‘thempark’ by michael farrell, random poem tit for tat, at page 10.

I’d love to hear what you think, your reactions, what feelings or memories the piece evokes:

tit for tat

happy, apparently, trailing a stubby finger
down the stripes of berts front like its scissors
hunting for a nipple

two can play but context is all –
would you like to come upstairs?
will bert always route his selfpity through
ironys lonely spacey levels? where are the tapestries?

a little inside trading later a little bubbly
in the bath & duckplay.
a damp hand on a soggy leg
cigars & seinfeld. theres got

to be less out there than this,
muppets who dont get to kiss, loaded, racking up timeshares
the metre running for joy.
plenty people broke their necks back then, & doctors werent just

000 away, ernie pockets one of berts
objets dart wishing his pockets bigger, better.
an ipod world, everyones got old favourites even if
they werent born when recored, & cable golddigger
films structure all ernies thought,

he cant take his grin off.

Publisher: Book Thug
ISBN: 978 1 897388 75 4

Other “Off the Shelf” Selections.

book-goyette-oceanEvery so often I pull down a book of poetry from the shelf.

Then, like stabbing a finger to a map to choose a chance destination I flip the book open to a random page. Without judgment or censorship, I share what I find there with you.

Today I pulled Ocean, Sue Goyette’s collection of linked poems, random poem at TWENTY. (This beautiful book was included in the The Griffin Poetry Prize Anthology 2014.)

I’d love to hear what you think, your reactions, what feelings or memories the piece evokes:

Oh, little clouds over Halifax, if you must continually rain
on us, rain then your blessings. This is how most city meetings

would start. We’d discuss making new lanes
for the smooth-talkers because they’d often instigate parades.

We’d argue about the feral minute balanced between each day
and who gets to claim it. We’d debate the ownership of the wind

above a fence at a property line and who could harness it. We
were important and doing busy work. Often these meetings

would go on for many hours. Someone was selling cans
of fog and someone else was claiming the fog was fake.

Someone wondered which blade to use when carving
fog and how much funding the fog carvers should receive.

Understand, the city was bustling and though the harbour
was not yet bridged, our ideas were leaping across

its water. Dartmouth wasn’t just our sister city then
but an opportunity for more holidays and a new political

platform. If we were night, Dartmouth was a top hat.
If we were an apple, it was the à la mode. Poets wrote

comparisons without compensation until an anthology
was published under the guise of a public transportation map

and then even the poets were quiet. It felt like there was nothing
left to say. Some of us bought black market canned fog

and stayed up late drinking it. The clouds over Halifax
could no longer be addressed as little. The ocean was a dominatrix.

We tied up our boats and created a 24-hour hotline for those of us
it handcuffed into sleep. We couldn’t even trust our shadows,

that thing they did, always straining towards the water.

Publisher: Gasperau Press
ISBN: 9 781554 471225

Other “Off the Shelf” Selections.

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